Do Parallel Universes Exist?: An Investigative Report into Radnor Township, Ohio
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Loyal readers - it has been a while since my last article, but I promise you that this will be worth the wait. I received an anonymous tip about a HUGE story that no one is talking about. You won't hear about this story from the "main stream media". You won't hear about this in the fake Russian bot articles that your uncle posts on Face book. You won't hear about this on whatever podcast you listen to, especially if it's a podcast about Radnor football that only published one episode and quit. You won't hear about this anywhere else except for your #1 source for hard hitting Journalism on the Main Line - The Radnor Rundown. My friends, it is with great sincerity that I am reporting to you that parallel universes do, in fact, exist. Allow me to explain.
Chances are, you might not know that there is also a Radnor Township in Ohio. You also might not know that Ohio is the state that is directly to the left of Pennsylvania on the map. Now, you might be saying to yourself:
"Ed, the name Radnor derives from the county in Wales called Radnorshire that was the homeland of early American settlers in the area during the late 17th century. It is the birthplace of many notable people, including Emmeline Lewis Lloyd, who was the first woman to climb Mount Viso. It was quite common for these settlers to name their new lands after the place they came from, you big dummy. This isn't surprising at all. You're crazy. No wonder your wife left you."
But let me stop you right there. As you know, our dear Radnor Township is located in Delaware County, Pennsylvania. Now, what if I told you that Radnor Township, Ohio was ALSO located in Delaware County? Not our beloved Delco, but a DIFFERENT Delaware County. The only explanation for this is that I have stumbled upon a hole in the space time continuum, where our universe and another have collided. The implications of this discovery are massive, but I will focus on telling the story of this other Radnor, our sister township from an alternate reality.
Now, I have never been to Ohio, nor do I have the desire to. Based on everything I've seen on google images, it doesnt look like I'm missing much. They have grass, trees, roads, brown bodies of water, and buildings of varying sizes. They also have the Ohio State Foot ball Team, who you might have heard of due to their losses at the hands of Clemson in the College Football Playoff. You also might of heard of their former coach Urban Liar *ahem* Meyer, who is notable for knowing about a domestic violence incident then lying about it. Yikes.
Upon a quick glance, it is apparent that Radnor Township, Ohio has a lot of very old buildings that they are proud of. Well, low & behold, Radnor Township, PA has a full-on Historical Society. I know this because in my younger days, old Ed had a run-in with the law and got stuck with community service duty. I sweat my ass off doing yard work at the Finley House for an entire summer! Through Google Earth I was also able to confirm that Radnor, Ohio has big rocks that look suspiciously similar to the big rocks at the corner of Radnor Chester Road and Raider Road. If that doesn't sell you, I don't know what will.
Some of my most valued friends are people that I consider to be very similar to myself. However, sometimes I meet people that are WAY too similar to me and I have no choice but to hate them and battle them for supremacy. Take my ex-wife Cheryl for example. In the case of Radnor vs. Radnor, I think it's the latter. How should we battle for supremacy, you ask? Easy - high school basketball.
Radnor Township, Ohio is part of the Buckeye Valley school district and their basketball team, the Barons, are off to a hot start this season. The Barons are 8-1 and are led by a guard duo known as "The Dylan Brothers", Dylan Thompson and Dylan Herbert. I propose that the Radnor Raiders take on the Buckeye Valley Barons once per year in a game called "The Radnor Classic presented by The Radnor Rundown". The schools will be able to pay for travel costs with the TV broadcast deal that a game of this magnitude will surely receive.
I spoke with full-time Radnor student-athlete and part-time Radnor Rundown correspondent Carson Smith, who had this to offer:
There ya have it. There's clearly an interest in this. Now we wait for the people in power to put their noses to the grindstone and make this happen. It must be known that multiple individuals at Buckeye Valley High School, including their superintendent, declined my request for a comment.
This content is proudly brought to you by *YOUR NAME HERE* Please contact Ed Edinetti (@edinetti215) or Chetthew Runway (@ChetRunway) if your interseted in becoming our next sponsor.
Loyal readers - it has been a while since my last article, but I promise you that this will be worth the wait. I received an anonymous tip about a HUGE story that no one is talking about. You won't hear about this story from the "main stream media". You won't hear about this in the fake Russian bot articles that your uncle posts on Face book. You won't hear about this on whatever podcast you listen to, especially if it's a podcast about Radnor football that only published one episode and quit. You won't hear about this anywhere else except for your #1 source for hard hitting Journalism on the Main Line - The Radnor Rundown. My friends, it is with great sincerity that I am reporting to you that parallel universes do, in fact, exist. Allow me to explain.
Chances are, you might not know that there is also a Radnor Township in Ohio. You also might not know that Ohio is the state that is directly to the left of Pennsylvania on the map. Now, you might be saying to yourself:
"Ed, the name Radnor derives from the county in Wales called Radnorshire that was the homeland of early American settlers in the area during the late 17th century. It is the birthplace of many notable people, including Emmeline Lewis Lloyd, who was the first woman to climb Mount Viso. It was quite common for these settlers to name their new lands after the place they came from, you big dummy. This isn't surprising at all. You're crazy. No wonder your wife left you."
But let me stop you right there. As you know, our dear Radnor Township is located in Delaware County, Pennsylvania. Now, what if I told you that Radnor Township, Ohio was ALSO located in Delaware County? Not our beloved Delco, but a DIFFERENT Delaware County. The only explanation for this is that I have stumbled upon a hole in the space time continuum, where our universe and another have collided. The implications of this discovery are massive, but I will focus on telling the story of this other Radnor, our sister township from an alternate reality.
Now, I have never been to Ohio, nor do I have the desire to. Based on everything I've seen on google images, it doesnt look like I'm missing much. They have grass, trees, roads, brown bodies of water, and buildings of varying sizes. They also have the Ohio State Foot ball Team, who you might have heard of due to their losses at the hands of Clemson in the College Football Playoff. You also might of heard of their former coach Urban Liar *ahem* Meyer, who is notable for knowing about a domestic violence incident then lying about it. Yikes.
Upon a quick glance, it is apparent that Radnor Township, Ohio has a lot of very old buildings that they are proud of. Well, low & behold, Radnor Township, PA has a full-on Historical Society. I know this because in my younger days, old Ed had a run-in with the law and got stuck with community service duty. I sweat my ass off doing yard work at the Finley House for an entire summer! Through Google Earth I was also able to confirm that Radnor, Ohio has big rocks that look suspiciously similar to the big rocks at the corner of Radnor Chester Road and Raider Road. If that doesn't sell you, I don't know what will.
Some of my most valued friends are people that I consider to be very similar to myself. However, sometimes I meet people that are WAY too similar to me and I have no choice but to hate them and battle them for supremacy. Take my ex-wife Cheryl for example. In the case of Radnor vs. Radnor, I think it's the latter. How should we battle for supremacy, you ask? Easy - high school basketball.
Radnor Township, Ohio is part of the Buckeye Valley school district and their basketball team, the Barons, are off to a hot start this season. The Barons are 8-1 and are led by a guard duo known as "The Dylan Brothers", Dylan Thompson and Dylan Herbert. I propose that the Radnor Raiders take on the Buckeye Valley Barons once per year in a game called "The Radnor Classic presented by The Radnor Rundown". The schools will be able to pay for travel costs with the TV broadcast deal that a game of this magnitude will surely receive.
I spoke with full-time Radnor student-athlete and part-time Radnor Rundown correspondent Carson Smith, who had this to offer:
I think we would beat them. I always have faith in my teammates no matter who is on the other team.... [The Radnor Ruckus] have showed up at the big games and I think they would pull through for this one and pack the house.
There ya have it. There's clearly an interest in this. Now we wait for the people in power to put their noses to the grindstone and make this happen. It must be known that multiple individuals at Buckeye Valley High School, including their superintendent, declined my request for a comment.
This content is proudly brought to you by *YOUR NAME HERE* Please contact Ed Edinetti (@edinetti215) or Chetthew Runway (@ChetRunway) if your interseted in becoming our next sponsor.
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